Here's the thing about communication… everyone thinks they're good at it.

I mean, we've been talking since we were toddlers, right? How hard can it be?

But here's what I've noticed working with new leaders and supervisors over the years: the gap between what you think you communicated and what your team actually heard can be massive. Like, Grand Canyon massive.

And that gap? It's where frustration lives. It's where missed deadlines hide out. It's where "I thought you said…" becomes the most exhausting phrase in your vocabulary.

So let's dig into the seven communication mistakes I see leaders make all the time, and more importantly, how you can fix them starting today.

Mistake #1: Assuming Everyone Has Bad Intentions

Picture this… you weren't CC'd on an important email. Or you found out about a meeting after it already happened. Your brain immediately goes to the dark place: "They're trying to cut me out. They don't respect me. This is a power play."

Sound familiar?

Here's the reality check: most of the time, it's just an honest mistake. Someone forgot. Someone hit "reply" instead of "reply all." Someone's brain was in seventeen places at once.

When you assume malintent, you start treating your team members like opponents instead of allies. And trust me… that energy shows up in everything you do after that.

The Fix: Before you spiral, ask yourself: "What's the most innocent explanation here?" Give people the benefit of the doubt first. If it keeps happening, then have a direct conversation about it. But start from a place of curiosity, not accusation.

Mistake #2: Hiding Behind Email

Oh, email. The great protector of uncomfortable conversations everywhere.

Got something controversial to share? Send an email. Need to deliver critical feedback? Email it. Want to make sure you have a "paper trail"? Email, email, email.

But here's what I've learned… email is terrible for anything that actually matters. Tone gets lost. Context disappears. And people read things in whatever mood they happen to be in when they open their inbox.

The Fix: For anything mission-critical or potentially sensitive, communicate it five times, five different ways. Start with a conversation (in person or video if possible), then follow up with an email to document what was discussed. Email supports the conversation, it shouldn't replace it.

Mistake #3: Not Checking for Understanding

This one's sneaky because it feels efficient. You explain something, you see heads nodding, you move on. Done, right?

Not even close.

Nodding doesn't mean understanding. Nodding often means "I'm still processing" or "I don't want to look dumb by asking questions" or even "I'm thinking about what I'm having for lunch."

Do you see what I mean here? The nod is not confirmation. It's a social reflex.

The Fix: After you explain something important, ask your team member to tell you what they heard. Not in a condescending way, just a simple "Hey, can you walk me through how you're thinking about this?" or "What questions do you have?" You'll be amazed at what gets clarified when you create that space.

Mistake #4: Walking Away Without Writing It Down

Here's a scenario that plays out constantly…

You have a great team discussion. Ideas are flowing. Decisions are made. Everyone leaves feeling energized and aligned.

Three days later, you realize everyone left with a completely different understanding of what was decided, who's doing what, and when it's due.

Our brains are not recording devices. They're more like interpretive artists: taking the raw material and creating their own version of events.

The Fix: After any important conversation, take two minutes to write down:

• What was decided
• Who owns what
• When things are due

Then share it with everyone involved. It feels like overkill until it saves you from a massive misalignment disaster. And it will.

Mistake #5: Using CC as a Weapon

Let's talk about the passive-aggressive CC.

You know the one. You CC someone's boss because you want to "escalate" without actually having to escalate. Or you CC half the company to create pressure without directly addressing the issue.

Here's the thing… everyone knows what you're doing. And it erodes trust faster than almost anything else.

The Fix: If you need someone to take action, ask them directly. If you need to escalate, escalate directly. The CC field is for people who genuinely need to be informed: not for creating political pressure. Direct communication is almost always more effective (and less exhausting for everyone).

Mistake #6: Presenting to Impress Instead of Communicate

New leaders fall into this trap constantly. You finally have a seat at the table, so you want to prove you belong there. You load up your presentation with data, charts, analysis… everything you've got.

And somewhere in all that impressive information, your actual point gets completely buried.

I've watched it happen so many times. The leader who overprepares because they're nervous. The supervisor who drowns their message in details because they think more is better.

The Fix: Before any communication, ask yourself: "What's the one thing I need them to walk away with?" Then build everything around that single objective. Your job isn't to impress: it's to be understood. Big difference.

Mistake #7: Making It All About You

This might be the biggest one…

When you communicate with your team (or your boss, or anyone really), are you framing things from their perspective or yours?

"I need this done by Friday" hits different than "This deadline matters because it affects the client launch we've all been working toward."

"Here's what my team accomplished" doesn't resonate like "Here's how this connects to the priorities you've been focused on."

People listen through the filter of "what does this mean for me?" When you communicate only from your perspective, you're asking them to do the translation work. Most people won't.

The Fix: Before you communicate something important, pause and ask: "Why would they care about this?" Then lead with that. Connect your message to their priorities, their concerns, their world. Watch what happens when you do.

The Simple Framework That Ties It All Together

If you want a quick mental checklist for any important communication, use this:

• Why: Why does this matter? What's the purpose?
• What: What specifically needs to happen?
• How: How should it be done?
• Who: Who owns it?

When you cover all four, you eliminate most of the ambiguity that causes miscommunication in the first place. It's simple, but simple works.

The Real Secret

Here's what I've come to believe about communication… it's not really about being a smooth talker or having the perfect words. It's about caring enough to make sure the other person actually received what you intended to send.

That's it.

Check for understanding. Write things down. Have the uncomfortable conversation instead of hiding behind email. Assume good intentions. Make it about them, not just you.

None of this is complicated. But doing it consistently? That takes intention.

So here's my challenge for you this week: pick one of these seven fixes and focus on it. Just one. Notice what shifts when you do.

And if you want to dig deeper into building rapport and understanding what's really going on with your team, check out this post on watching what words people use. It's a game-changer for connecting with people.

Have fun with this. And let me know what you discover.