Have you noticed there are some folks that brighten the room… when they leave! Unfortunately, it’s all too true. There’s a new word being used in today’s vernacular and you’ve probably seen it printed on something or at least heard someone (usually younger) say it. That word is “Hater.”
The Urban Dictionary defines a hater as:
“A person that simply cannot be happy for another person’s success. So rather than be happy they make a point of exposing a flaw in that person. Hating, the result of being a hater, is not exactly jealousy. The hater doesn’t really want to be the person he or she hates, rather the hater wants to knock some one else down a notch.”
Those folks, you probably know a few and unfortunately, I know some too, are throwing their judgement upon someone else. I can’t believe how firm and steadfast they are in their judgement. It’s as if once that judging spear has been cast… it can never be retrieved. I’m here to tell you… it can be and it should be!
The title of today’s email comes from a song by the group, The Who. You might want to give it a listen sometime… and think of our “friends,” the haters. The song was written by Pete Townsend over his angst of some people sitting in judgement of others. For Pete, it was a lash out at the establishment after he was accused of some improper behavior.
Here’s a simple way to STOP the judging and instead become “curious.” I believe and have seen that curiosity is the key to discovery. Discovering many times the unexpected and becoming delightfully surprised. When you notice yourself beginning to cast the judgement (and we all do from time to time) think of this: behind the behavior (of the person in question) there’s a positive intention. You have to remember that positive intention is not according to you or me, but according to them. This automatically puts you in a place of curiosity…. You are at least asking yourself, “How in the heck could someone have a positive intention doing that?” There you are asking a great question instead of casting judgement.
The late Jim Rohn used this strategy to turn anger or frustration into curiosity. He would tell the story of driving on the California freeway and seeing someone cut across several lanes sending cars scattering for their own safety… Jim would say, “I am now… curious.”
It’s really that simple… I challenge you to work on the discipline of becoming curious. It will pay great dividends (and quite likely lower your blood pressure).